


Dave: Think about your relationship

by ShippingEverything



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, also rated T for language I guess, but it's only hinted at so I'm not tagging it, mentioned Rosemary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-23
Updated: 2013-04-23
Packaged: 2017-12-09 06:36:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/771154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShippingEverything/pseuds/ShippingEverything
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This started as just a Rainbow Drinker Karkat from Amarantto's AU but then I took her AU and spun it off somewhere like what even happened here?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

You roll over and watch your sleeping boyfriend. Of course he was tired after drinking like a gallon of your blood. 

Your name is Dave Strider and you’re dating a rainbow drinker.

The two of you have been dating for a short amount of time, but you were introduced years ago, and the attraction had probably been there since the beginning.

**== > Dave: Reminisce and be overcome by nostalgia**

You don’t even know what that means, so you won’t be doing that. You will try thinking about the past though. It’s not that hard, because you clearly remember the day you met him and circumstances leading to that day since it was all just too ironic to forget

You had signed up to donate blood even though you knew they had specifically said they didn’t want people with your blood type to sign up for ironic purposes. They told you they had no use for your blood and of course you ironically broke your normal poker face in order to show an overdramatic display of sadness at not being able to donate, but “luckily” for you, your good friend Rose was in need of volunteers to donate blood to one of her weird projects. You couldn’t just break your act then, so even though you didn’t want to help Rose with any of her creepy projects, you agreed. And that’s how you ended up going to some shabby neighborhood in the middle of nowhere during a storm with Rose.

**== > Dave: Be in the moment**

What? You don’t have time to ponder the meaning of that because you’re too busy looking for an alternate exit out of this shack that Rose has led you into. 

“Who the hell is this douche?” Oh great a shadowy figure

“Dave, I would like you to meet Karkat Vantas, the current subject of my latest venture. He’s also the recipient of your much needed blood donation.” The shadow walked out into the more well area and you realized he was actually a short troll.

“He’s a fucking troll? How am I supposed to donate blood to a troll? Don’t they have weird multicolored blood?” The troll, Karkat Vantas apparently, is now glaring at you.

You’re definitely prepared to fight him if it comes to that, and it seems like it might since he’s now snarling at you, but Rose is clearing her throat and sending you both a very disappointed look.

“I’m so pleased you two have hit it off like this. I was afraid your personalities would clash,” And there’s that special brand of Lalonde sarcasm, “Let me explain my project to you, Dave. As you know, my good friend, Kanaya,” Here you interrupt with a poorly coughed out “girlfriend” that is replied to with a snort from Karkat and aglare from Rose, “Is what the trolls call a ‘rainbow drinker’, which is actually the troll version of a vampire. This information is relevant to you because Karkat is also a rainbow drinker. And he is in need of some blood.”

Your eyes widen behind your shades, finally getting what she was hinting at the whole time. You begin to ramble and attempt to regain your crazy high amounts of cool, “Oh hell no. I am not going to be vampire food, all my precious and delicious Strider blood is staying right in my body where it belongs. And, don’t you die when vampires suck your blood? I am way too cool to die now. Just think of how heartbroken everyone whole, all like ‘oh that poor Dave Strider, he was so cool and hot and great and we all miss him so much but his horrible friend Rose got him eaten up by a vampire’ and then the angry mobs would turn on all the vampire aliens and Rose and there’d be nowhere to hide.”

“Dave, don’t be so melodramatic. Kanaya has fed off me plenty of times and I am quite all right. I promise I won’t let Karkat take too much of your blood and you will be fine.”

You still aren’t quite sure about this, but you settle down in a very uncomfortable chair and brace yourself for a lot of pain as Karkat takes his sweet time in taking a bite out of you. However, when he finally does clamp his fangs into your neck, it isn’t as bad as expected. Despite the pain when he first pierces your skin, it’s actually pretty okay. In fact, you could say that the way he’s sucking on your neck in perfect time to your (still fast) heartbeat, feels really nice. You might even go as far as to say that-

“Unnghhh.”

Nope. That was not a moan from you. That sound did not just come out of your mouth and you cannot feel Karkat smirking on your neck and Rose isn’t attempting to hide a smile and you are not blushing even slightly nope nope this is not really happening. You refuse to believe this. But just in case any of that really did happen, you’re clamping your lips shut to avoid another uncool noise from slipping out. 

**== > Dave: skip this really embarrassing scene and return to the present**

Finally, a command that actually makes sense. You can definitely do that. You’ve really just been staring at Karkat and reminiscing—whatever the fuck that means—but now you’re feeling a bit tired yourself, so as per usual, you steal most of the blankets from Karkat and fall asleep with a slight smile on your face.


	2. Dave: Discuss Dating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to do this but then I got a plot bunny and well here we are.

You take a bite out of your burger, attempting to ignore the fact that Karkat is eating a raw and very bloody steak beside you.  


Your name is Dave Strider and this is what you consider a date.  


It isn’t really the normal kind of date; the two of you are just sitting at your kitchen table, eating meat and relaxing, but it’s what you and Karkat have become accustomed to. Later, you’ll pretend to be against watching one of those horrible romcoms that he loves so much (“We’re not watching that shit again, you’ve seen it like twelve times”) but he’ll talk you into it and you’ll both fall asleep halfway through the movie. Just business as usual. But it wasn't always this way between you and Karkat, as a matter of fact, you’re first date was under very different conditions.  


**== >Past Dave: Live the dream, date the vampire**  


Even though that would be incredibly ironic, that’s not a thing you’re going to do. You can barely stand being in the same room as Karkat long enough for him to get a drink, even if you may or may not enjoy it, and you could never date that loud idiot. Rose has been forcing you two to hang out—kidnapping you, driving you out to his middle-of-nowhere neighborhood, and dropping you off for a couple hours—but you would never willingly chill with him, like a date or anything. You will however, make a bet with him.  


“Yo, Karkizzle,” You allow yourself an inward smirk as he growls, something that apparently does all the time since he’s always pissed.  


“What the fuck do you want, Strider? Come to torment me with some ‘ill beats’ or ‘sick rhymes’?”  


“Even though both my rhymes and my beats are undoubtedly in the hospital forever due to all the sickness that they have, that’s not what I came to talk to you about. Do you like free dinner?”  


He raises an eyebrow, “Are you asking me out on a date?”  


“Oh my god no. There’s no need to start blushing like a ten year old girl in a room of shirtless male supermodels. I know it’s everyone’s dream to get to go out with the one and only Dave Strider but that is not a dream you’ll be-“  


“Is there a point to this rambling or should I just go now?”  


“You’re breaking my heart Karkat, why wouldn’t you want to listen to my melodious voice? But yeah what I was going to say was that we should make a bet and because I like getting free food, the loser should have to buy the winner dinner,” Well that and the fact that Rose had been telling you to get to know Karkat better and become friends and blah blah blah whatever.  


“Sure,” Woah he actually agrees with you on something, “I can’t wait to get something super expensive when you lose. What are we betting on?”  


Rose had suggested really stupid bets when you ran the idea past her, but you had just thought of the best one, “We both have to give up something for a month, like you could possibly give up attacking my neck with your fangs. I swear with all these marks on my neck I’ll scare away all the pretty girls and only attract the scary ones who are into that sort of thing. Like couldn’t you just chose a spot and stick to it instead of biting all along all of the veins in my poor, helpless neck? We could even tattoo an arrow on to point right to the correct vein or whatever and you’d never-“  


“Shut the hell up, nookwipe,” Okay so he’s literally putting his hand over your mouth to stop you from talking. Awesome. “I’ll give up your stupid blood if you give up your idiotic and nonsensical rambling.”  


You quickly mull it over. No “rambling” in exchange for no more bite marks or having to deal with focusing on keeping your mouth closed so no uncool sounds come out. You are so going to win this.  


You put your hand out for a shake to seal the deal, “You got yourself a bet, Karcreamy.”  


**== >Past Dave: Skip forward two weeks**  


You’ve won the bet. He obviously couldn’t resist your Strider charm or your delicious blood, and your win has nothing to do with the fact that you (ironically?) brought and wore V-necks for the two weeks that he lasted. You knew you we going to win the day after the bet was made, Rose and Kanaya had decided to force you two to go with them a movie—twilight, ironically enough—and you could feel Karkat’s eyes on your well-exposed neck the whole time, even if he was missing the exact kind of horrible movie that he loves. You’ve just enjoyed a lovely gourmet dinner—and by gourmet, you mean burgers and fries—you are now being driven back to your apartment by Karkat.

You wonder how the two of you haven’t crashed yet with how he keeps goggling at your neck, but you can’t really blame him though. He didn’t have a thing to eat and he must be starving, but Rose, your self-appointed bet monitor, had ruled that he was no allowed to “drain all the stupid blood from your annoying hipster body” (his words, exact quote) until he had fed you as per bet rules. And you definitely weren’t making it easy for him by wearing a shirt with a nice embellished neckline. He does however act civilly about it, walking you up to your door and everything, and you thing he might just let the whole “drain your blood” thing go. That is, until you open the door to your apartment and he practically leaps on you, so now you’re halfway into your apartment, on the ground, and he’s straddling you. He grins at you and in a second his teeth have stabbed through you skin and he’s sucking and swirling his tongue around the brand new and very sensitive bite marks and oh my god you think it feels really good.  


“Nrgh, K-Karkat…” and at this moment you realize that you have forgotten to keep your mouth shut and now your moaning like some kind of… uncool animal that moans. Your heads a bit too clouded to think of a good example right now, but all you know is that this night could not get any worse.  


“I thought this was a family friendly complex.”  


Of course it’s Lalonde. You open your eyes (that you hadn’t noticed you had closed) to see Rose looking down at you with a slight smile. You are never going to hear the end of this.  


Karkat disconnects himself from your neck with a huff, “Goddammit Lalonde, can’t you see I’m eating?”  


“I just came by to see if my dear friend enjoyed his date. At least try and get into the apartment before you ravish him. The two of you could’ve scarred some poor innocent bystander.” Karkat rolls his eyes and you are definitely not blushing right now, no you are not.  


“Whatever,” Karkat stands, scowling, “Goodnight Rose.” And he’s legitimately dragging you into your apartment.  


“What? Rose why are you not helping me? What’s happening here?” You see Rose happily waving to you before Karkat shuts the door.  


“Now then, where were we?” and he goes right back to draining your neck.  


**== >Dave: Be civilized**  


You can do that, since Karkat obviously isn’t.  


“Karwii, you have cow blood dripping down your face.”  


He gives you a fanged grin as he wipes off his face, “We could always add some human blood if you wanted.”  


“Nope. Stop that alien vamp voodoo shit. You just ate; you will not be sucking my blood right now. You’re way too greedy and you probably need a diet or something and-“  


He cuts you off with a bloody kiss, “I get it all right? Just shut your talk blaster. We’re going to watch 27 Dresses.”  


“Like hell we are,” you feign complaining as you follow him into the living room, “I’m not watching that again.”  


Another perfect ending to another perfect day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used a lot of horrible Karkat nicknames there and wow that was fun. So this will probs be the last time you ever hear about this story. Probably.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah so thanks for reading this and I'd love to get some comments, especially if I got someone's characterization wrong or something.


End file.
